dont mess with children

Again an e-mail xtract...

The teacher said it was physically impossible

for a whale to swallow a human because even

though it was a very large mammal its throat

was very small.


Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale

could not swallow a human; it was physically

impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I

will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to

hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

2� A Kindergarten teacher was observing her

classroom of children while they were drawing.

She would occasionally walk around to see

each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working

diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one

knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from

her drawing, the girl: replied, "They will in a

minute."

3� A Sunday school teacher was discussing

the Ten Commandments with her five and six

year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor"

thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is

there a commandment that teaches us how to

treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the

oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not

kill."

4� One day a little girl was sitting and

watching her mother do the dishes at the

kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her

mother had several strands of white hair

sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively

asked, "Why are some of your hairs white,

Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that

you do something wrong and make me cry or

unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation

for a while and then said, "Momma, how come

ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"



5� The children had all been photographed,

and the teacher was trying to persuade them

each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it

when you are all grown up and say, 'There's

Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's

Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang

out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."



6� A teacher was giving a lesson on the

circulation of the blood. Trying to make the

matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I

stood on my head, the blood, as you know,

would run into it, and I would turn red in the

face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing

upright in the ordinary position the blood

doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted,

"Cause your feet ain't empty."



7� The children were lined up in the cafeteria

of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At

the head of the table was a large pile of

apples. The nun made a note, and posted on

the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the

other end of the table was a large pile of

chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you

want. God is watching the apples.