Sunday, September 21, 2008

dont mess with children

Again an e-mail xtract...
The teacher said it was physically impossible
for a whale to swallow a human because even
though it was a very large mammal its throat
was very small.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale
could not swallow a human; it was physically

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I
will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

2� A Kindergarten teacher was observing her
classroom of children while they were drawing.
She would occasionally walk around to see
each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working
diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one
knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from
her drawing, the girl: replied, "They will in a

3� A Sunday school teacher was discussing
the Ten Commandments with her five and six
year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor"
thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is
there a commandment that teaches us how to
treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the
oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not

4� One day a little girl was sitting and
watching her mother do the dishes at the
kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her
mother had several strands of white hair
sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively
asked, "Why are some of your hairs white,

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that
you do something wrong and make me cry or
unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation
for a while and then said, "Momma, how come
ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

5� The children had all been photographed,
and the teacher was trying to persuade them
each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it
when you are all grown up and say, 'There's
Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's
Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang
out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

6� A teacher was giving a lesson on the
circulation of the blood. Trying to make the
matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I
stood on my head, the blood, as you know,
would run into it, and I would turn red in the

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing
upright in the ordinary position the blood
doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted,

"Cause your feet ain't empty."

7� The children were lined up in the cafeteria
of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At
the head of the table was a large pile of
apples. The nun made a note, and posted on
the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the
other end of the table was a large pile of
chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you
want. God is watching the apples.

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